it’s going down like a freshman invited to prom.
I have a boner
because it’s 7:00.
you mean the part of the world that’s cold like your soul?
me: I don’t have a soul
boss: do you know why you don’t have a soul? cause your vagina ate it. that’s what they do, eat souls.
me: they don’t eat their own souls.
boss: yes they do. that’s the first thing to go.
N as in Nancy
G as in G-spot
I need a wolf.
this weather makes you want to snuggle up and have a tasty beverage
and by tasty I mean straight rye whiskey
I kind of want to snort some rye right now
It’s not called slurring your words
It’s called talking in cursive
Fuck you it’s elegant
Shit the Boss Says 