if you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.
on a solo Vegas trip
thanks for not letting your vag puke insecurity and emotions all over me before I left.
on appearances
it’s just a little jizz
on science
Did you know that giraffes are gay af?
on timeliness
vaginas warp time around their own self-importance
On IUDs
It’s a little copper baby decoy designed like those duck decoys hunters use.
Latin definitions and birth control
pregofucktime: 28-28.5 years of age
pregofuckprance: Fucking when your both highly fertile and too old to risk your baby making chances
on two blondes standing at the corner
there were four of them, those two ate the other two.
on lesbians
I don’t put much into nonbangable women.
me: what do I own that’s a size Large?
boss: hopefully nothing.
Shit the Boss Says 