Author: shitbosssays

boss: seems like a prefix to some kind of shitty dog

me: ………what

if I wasn’t already you, I’d say you were pheromoning me today. 

neither of you cuntsickles said shit about my hair.

• Eleventeen year old girls 
• Beat my shit like it owes me money
• Regurgitated cum bubble
• Hit it like a piñata
• Fuck fuckety fuckfuckfuck
• Smile like a donut 
• Hit it like a wife that doesn’t listen
• Felching with cholera
• Vaginal cum fart
• Unadulterated fuckery
• Regoddamndiculous
• Titrus
• I’d let her poop on me
• Fuck a doodle do 
• Fucking a leprechaun in the ass while eating a unicorn’s rainbow shit
• How to coach someone into not being a little bitch about everything 
• My _______ is catywampus
• Your mom has RBF
• Steamed meat
• Cunterrific
• Titty fucking someone’s ass crack
• Amazevag™
• Black Jesus
• Black Santa
• Shoving a jelly jar in an anus like a glass bottom boat
• Dwarf cum
• Meat mullet
• Genital oiling
• Surprise painal 
• Meat smuggler
• Midget hookers
• Dildo slapping clowns getting out of a tiny car
• The intimacy of a prostate exam
• The sweet sting of syphilis
• Whore
• Burning outside the per hole 
• When antibiotics don’t work
• When jazz hands lead to ejaculation
• A bruised cervix
• An enchanting night of _______ and stef stimulation 
• The gratifying feeling of pulling someone else’s long hair out of your taint
• Cock high five
• A well groomed pussy hitler stache
• Realizing you have to fart while receiving epic oral
• Tongue punch my fart hole 
• Know your role and shut your hole
• Fucktastic
• Cunterrific

boss: hm. we still have to bring the bags downstairs huh?

me: yep. 

boss: good luck.

me: that pool’s kind of dirty

boss: yup. it’s all that fake tan. and shame. 

those girls are adorable. 

………
they’re going to grow up to be some major sluts. 

I hope to be there. 

Groceries due in 20 minutes. This is basically the best fucking thing in the world. It’s almost as good as Asian pussy.

boss: Indians. Look at those women they’re arguing but it looks like they’re singing a song. 

me: or maybe they’re singing a song and it looks like they’re arguing. 

boss: they don’t sing. they don’t like joy. they are a people of no joy. 

boss: does that say “millionaires”?

me: yep. 

boss: on the back of that Chevy Cruze?

me: yep. 

boss: I’m not convinced.