Author: shitbosssays

me: that woman is a pile of red flags hiding behind a nice pair of tits. 

a bunch of tardzillas in the Pre line. 

there needs to be two lines – “knows how to airport” and “retard”

me: guess what new fall fashion is in?

boss: fuck. what?

me: landing strips.

boss: like pussy hitlers?

boss: but you’d probably be 60 lbs heavier without the birth control….with my giant baby spelunking the love caverns

Can you imagine a little piece of my dick breaking off and then growing inside you for 40 fucking weeks? Turning into a little alien before it busts out of your vagina?

me: ew. 

how do you think the guy came up with Alien?

skills based segregation. it’s called jobs.

I fucking love being so close to the airport. I feel like the airport is giving me a blow job everytime I go now.

boss: it better be your favorite. you whored it up for a long time for that. 

me: I thought you said you hit it off with her

boss:  yeah we did. she loves me. I think she’s a dipshit. 

it’s majestic as fuck. kind of like my dick.