Author: shitbosssays

me: and you cum glitter now too.

boss: strip club?

me: it’s too much even for that

boss: oh. I cum glitter now.

(on the morning to do list text…without warning or context)

I need a bj now to make you feel better.

boss: I told him we wanted to bang his wife but he seemed like he wasn’t really into it.

boss: I feel like I did. I feel like I knocked your cervix out through your nostrils.

who doesn’t think of their mom when they have Jell-O shots?

peace out you cum dumpster

On Netflix. You finally finally find a fucking show to watch. Out of the landfill of shit shows you find something that looks good
……and you start it and the Netflix says, “start from beginning?” or would you like to “resume at the 15 minute mark where the last time you tried to watch this piece of shit and got bored and yelled obesinjties at the tv show and slandered the producers as you menu menu menued the fuck out of there?”

And I’m like …. goddamnit. Mother fucker. 

Back to the fucking drawing board.