me: I did 9 miles this morning
boss: Like on your bike? Running ? Master bating?
me: how does one masturbate for 9 miles
boss: I probably have beat off 9 miles
me: That wouldn’t work for me because vibrator. I wouldn’t get that much athletic credit.
boss: Like girls cum much easier than men…But they don’t ever do manual labor…Because dewalt and dyson
boss: hahaha That’s a fucking awesome nickname. For a fuckwhore. Dewalt
me: says the only one in the room who wouldn’t be able to scissor her.
boss: I could scissor her, it would just hurt.
it used to be fun. now it’s a gang rape.
it costs 8 tickets.
I may be an asshole…but I have been known to have a soul.
don’t be jelly
Inconsiderate cockjuices
walls are a metaphor for suck between people.
boss: I’ve had a lot of coffee, can I kick you?
COO: I’ve also had a lot of coffee. and I almost fell in the toilet.
boss: I can kill you nicely. flirty curb stomp.
why won’t anyone buy me a bus? I don’t understand.
Shit the Boss Says 